The plan: I’ll set alarms for 8am, 8:15 AND 8:30 so I’ll definitely be ready to get out of bed at 8:30.
Reality: Aha it’s 8:30, I have succeeded in awakening myself from my slumber, and am ready to face the reality of getting out of bed. Let me just lie in until 9am now.
The plan: Lecture at 11am? I’ll totally get to uni by 9am like I do most days and get some studying done!
Reality: Stumbles into lecture hall at 11:05. Without breakfast.
The plan: I’ve made short lists of perfectly achievable tasks for the next few days. They’re going to keep me focused and productive.
Reality: Today’s tasks are way too achievable; this is almost offensive. I may as well merge today’s to-do list with tomorrow’s, thus making tomorrow super-productive. (Needless to say, neither day’s tasks are completed.)
The plan: Getting out of bed this morning was particularly excruciating. I shall be a responsible adult and sleep at 10pm tonight.
Reality: Say what? Ten Things I Hate About You is on at 9?
After the movie ends, convince myself I need reminding of the circumstances surrounding Heath Ledger’s death, and also, what was that song playing before the credits rolled? Oh it’s already 11:30? Sleep can wait. MUST FIND SONG.
The plan: I will clear ALL the junk out of my room. All the unnecessary things I have hoarded over the course of my life will be ruthlessly discarded. I will be brutal; an Oxbridge admissions officer, a graduate recruiter for the Big Four.
Reality: Awww did I really write this story of my weekend when I was 8? Look at my handwriting! (It hasn’t changed). Oooh my admission ticket to skiing in Dubai Mall is basically on par with ‘souvenirs from exotic countries’, right? So that’s gotta stay. And having spent the past hour reading through my GCSE English Literature notes, I think it’s better I keep them actually. I may come to a point in life where I really identify with Simon Armitage’s poem about Robin’s resentment toward Batman.
The plan: This Summer holiday is really dragging on tooo long now. I genuinely can’t wait for term to start again; I’m going to make the most of the educational opportunities I’m lucky to have and stay on top of everything right from the start!
Reality: Man, uni is such a drag! What do they think I am, some sort of juggler with magical powers? I got priorities here, and I’m sorry, but reading about the critique of balanced growth theories just doesn’t feature.
The plan: I’ll go for a run when I get home from uni today. The last time I did any exercise was compulsory PE lessons in Year 9. *guilty*
Reality: Lay slumped on the sofa all evening after uni. Oh well, it’s the thought that counts, right?
The plan: Friday afternoon, you’re finally here, you elusive devil! I’m gonna get SO much done this weekend.
Reality: My to-do list from Friday afternoon has not changed, though it is now Sunday night. In fact, I’ve had to add a few extras like ‘do exercise this week to make up for being an all-consuming slob this weekend, with an endless capacity for sleeping’.
The plan: Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today?
Reality: Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow?
P.S. Dear family members, please do not be concerned or disappointed by any of the above; some or all of them are purely fictional. Don’t believe everything you read. Especially if I’ve said it.